I spent the last four mornings as part of a team that planned and ran the football portion of a camp that also included 10 or 11 other sports and activities for children ages 6-12. We had 50 football campers, and the camp had a reported 415 kids involved overall. It was an amazing week, an absolute blast, and everything seemed to come together just about perfectly. The church who ran the camp gave our football staff 18 prizes to give away to boys who had won contests or demonstrated outstanding attitudes during the week, which I thought was a really nice bonus.We finished the final competitions, gave away the prizes (and I went out of my way to explain that we had only 18 prizes, but I wished we had more; that all the boys had been a lot of fun to work with and that it had been a great week for all of us.) I was feeling really good about everything until we came in and I couldn't help but overhear the mother of one of our football campers on a rant on her cell phone. She was very angry that 18 boys had been singled out while 32 boys, most of whom had been great to work with as well, went home empty handed. She was saying that her son was "devastated" that he hadn't won a prize, while his "much lazier" (her words) friend had been recognized by his group leader. She mentioned that Jesus wouldn't be caught singling people out and making others feel bad. I'm really not sure where she got that one.
At first I was shocked and felt bad that she and her son were so upset. As I stood there and thought about it some more, I remembered something I've learned repeatedly in the past. We can do our absolute best to provide a great experience for those we coach, but at the end of the day we won't make everyone happy all the time. I'm sorry she left camp with a bad taste in her mouth, but maybe this was a chance for her to explain to her son that the real reward of camp were the things he learned and the fun he had at camp - not the prize that less than half the campers got to take home with them. Or that sometimes people who are giving out kudos get it wrong, and we have to be OK with that.
I understand the boy's reaction - I do remember what it's like to be a little kid sitting there while people are giving stuff out, hoping they call your name, and being disappointed when they don't. I also think that adults have a responsibility to help young people work through those situations, to learn and grow from them. Not pour gasoline on their emotional fires.
As a Coach, I have to be content with doing my best to teach, serve and love those who I am working with. I need to trust that God is pleased with my attitude and effort. And I should remember that if I'm looking toward people to validate my work I will regularly be disappointed.
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