Over the past few years, as I have read, studied, and talked to countless parents and coaches, I've consistently heard ideas resembling the comments I just read from Mike Woitalla, the Executive Editor of Soccer America Magazine. Mike wrote this as part of an online article: (the entire article is here, and is at least worth a look, and might be something to pass along to parents of your players)"What is your worst memory from playing youth and high school sports?"
That was the question posed to college athletes in a survey by Proactive Coaching. The overwhelming response was: "The ride home from games with my parents."
Having this idea drilled into my brain has enabled me to do a couple things. First, in the work we do with CFC, I've had a chance to share this idea with many other coaches and parents, hopefully drilling the same thoughts into their brains in a way that winds up being meaningful.
Also, on a personal level, I've dramatically altered the way I approach the ride home after games with my own sons. I remember taking my oldest boy home after baseball and football games, and with the best of intentions, going through my mental checklist of coaching points. I was going to make this kid great. At least that's what I was telling myself. The result I actually ended up achieving was that I made his sports experience less enjoyable.
Fortunately, I've learned from those mistakes and have gone to great lengths with my younger boys to evaluate which of my critiques are important to share and which aren't. What I've discovered is that most of them aren't worth revisiting, and for the ones that are, we can cover it tomorrow.
Having been on this parenting/coaching journey for 13 years, and having done it wrong so many times with my older kids, it was particularly rewarding when my third son looked at me as we drove home after his baseball game earlier this week and, completely unprompted, said, "Dad, I really love riding home with you after my games when it's just you and me and we get to just be together and talk." It was one of those moments that just makes you want to laugh, cry and thank God for these kids that we're blessed with.
80's Lyric
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